Wisdom of Teens

Ladies and Gentlemen I am proud to announce that my teen stepson knows

EVERYTHING

-3 Fahrenheit outside and going for a practice drive with Dad? A coat is completely unnecessary. A hoodie is sufficient because, after all, the heater in his 20 year old truck won’t struggle to heat the cab at all! (Those of us who have driven similarly ancient vehicles in similar weather and know differently are….wrong.)

The hat that’s missing? It’s probably in his room under his bed, between his bed and the wall, or buried under something that doesn’t belong on the floor. Stepson informed me that it can’t be in any of those places and, of course, he knows best.

The homework he can’t find? No way it’s folded into a square the size of a business card and buried at the bottom of his dumpster-fire of a backpack. Not possible. (Never mind that this scenario has played out dozens of times before.)

5 Fahrenheit outside and snowing with a wind chill in the sub-zeroes? Obviously a hoodie is more than enough to keep him toasty warm on the 5 minute walk to the bus stop and subsequent wait for a bus that may or may not be late due to unforeseen icy conditions.

Such brilliant instances of the Teen Genius’s thinking occur almost daily and some days it’s a battle to keep from arguing with him. It’s also really hard not saying “I told you so” when Mother Nature, Natural Consequences, and Life in General gang up on the Teen Genius and prove him wrong.

Just to be clear, the Teen Genius is a great kid and fabulous stepson. He continues to dodge many of the stupid, asinine, idiotic, and wrongheaded things many teens do, is patient with his younger siblings, and fights daily to succeed in his high school career. That said I’m making it my goal this week to allow Natural Consequences, Mother Nature, and Life in General to do the teaching.